i remember once reading a version with animals and pictures. i preferred that one
It says if you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy rather than empowering it. If you want to have a more pleasant, cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathic, consistent, loving parent. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing employee. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy. If you want the secondary greatness of recognized talent, focus first on primary greatness of character. The inside-out approach says that private victories precede public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others. It says it is futile to put personality ahead of character, to try to improve relationships with others before improving ourselves.
Our character is a composite of our habits.
Be Proactive
==listening to our language, choosing proactive language==
==circle of influence, not circle of concern== ← this is a bar
That language comes from a basic paradigm of determinism. And the whole spirit of it is the transfer of responsibility.
In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling.
The problems we face fall in one of three areas: direct control (problems involving our own behavior); indirect control (problems involving other people’s behavior); or no control (problems we can do nothing about, such as our past or situational realities). The proactive approach puts the first step in the solution of all three kinds of problems within our present Circle of Influence.
Direct control problems are solved by working on our habits. They are obviously within our Circle of Influence. These are the “Private Victories” of Habits 1, 2, and 3. Indirect control problems are solved by changing our methods of influence. These are the “Public Victories” of Habits 4, 5, and 6. I have personally identified over 30 separate methods of human influence—as separate as empathy is from confrontation, as separate as example is from persuasion. Most people have only three or four of these methods in their repertoire, starting usually with reasoning, and, if that doesn’t work, moving to flight or fight. How liberating it is to accept the idea that I can learn new methods of human influence instead of constantly trying to use old ineffective methods to “shape up” someone else!
In between what happened to you and your response, there is a space. This space is your freedom to choose to be reactive (I’m a victim) or proactive (I’m 100% responsible).
This concept has touched me a lot. I often reflect on it in my journal to help me see situations through a different angle. It’s so easy to drift and put the responsibility on others: my children, my wife, my colleagues, my business partner. Assuming 100% responsibility has helped me to solve hundreds of challenges and grow as a person.
Your circle of influence versus your circle of concern. This concept works for me as an excellent filter to remain focused and responsible. It drives my energy on problems I can influence. The more I apply it, the more my circle of influence extends.
Begin with the end in mind
basic productivity yap
Put first things first
Create and live by a personal mission statement
useful to have particular values
organisational stuff, i do this enough
Think win/win
Have an abundance mentality
Consider other people's wins as well as your own
Seek first to understand, then to be understood
Listening, etc
Seek to be understood respectfully
Discover > Divulge
Synergise
Value differences
Sharpen the Saw
obvious